Bollywood

Saravana Palace
Masala Country

Two Indian restaurants up this time, both recommended by Washingtonian Magazine: Saravana Palace near Fairfax Corner, and Masala Country in Centreville (not Charlottesville. Sorry.)

Saravana Palace is an all-vegetarian-but-otherwise-typical Indian restaurant. The service is lousy, the portions are large, and the flavors are expected. All these things, including the "I don't want to actually serve you" attitude, are the typical tandoori tropes we've come to know and love.
But because the menu is all veggie, you won't find your chicken tikka masala here. In fact there are a lot of dishes noticeably absent from Saravana's menu - and about 10,000 unexpected ones. The menu is actually a novel, but the author knew what he or she was doing; an appendix has been included highlighting the most ordered dishes, the magazine featured dishes, the spiciest dishes, etc. It's almost as if Saravana has already written the review. Which makes one wonder why I'm still typing...

The highlight is unquestionably the dosas (a trend which carries on to the next restaurant). A lot of people will tell you that a dosa is an Indian crepe (and by people, I mean wikipedia). I'm here to tell you that if you order a dosa expecting a crepe, you will be sorry. The batter for a dosa, and an idli for that matter, is a fermented mix of rice and lentils. It seems like a dosa is made like a crepe, in that it's a thin flaky pastry type deal, except that a dosa is crunchy. It's a small but key difference.
Don't think that these are tiny little things either. We made the mistake of ordering a jaipuri paneer dosa for an appetizer, and then each ordered our own dish. The dosa was huge, and frankly even after sharing it with a friend, it was plenty for dinner on its own. One dosa is all you need. That and love.

Beyond the dosa, I ordered a not-so-great veggie pakora...thing. It wasn't just pakora. They were pakora in something fairly gelatinous. I think this was just one of those dishes you had to have grown up with.

A side note: if you completely ignore my advice and get something other than a dosa, be prepared to make a tough choice. You can't get naan and rice, you're going to get one or the other. The other one you'll have to order separately, and they're known for the coconut rice. Get the naan, order the rice (which sounds kind of backwards, doesn't it?)


Compare this to Masala Country, a self-proclaimed South Indian Fusion Fast Food Joint (pioneering the brand new cuisine of SIFFFJ). It's actually a chain, go figure. This ain't no Palace kids - there are few chairs and fewer tables (appropriately. Can you imagine a place where there were more tables than chairs? So awkward.) In a symbol of shrugging off Indian restaurant traditions left and right, they've abolished the known-and-loved horrible service, and replaced it with no service at all. That's right kids, you're on your own to order at the counter. They will bring it out to your table though.
While I've said before that fusion is a blend of Asian and Pretense, this place frankly has no business being pretentious. At the same time, you know the Indians wouldn't take any of that attitude, and they'd lose their voting bloc base. Or their clients. Something like that.

So how is fusion achieved without a dash of arrogance? Replace with a shake of Chinese. The menu covers everything from Idli (that batter mentioned previously, formed into a cake and then steamed) to Thai fried rice to Kung Pao chicken. All this ground to cover on a tiny menu means that there are no explanations as to what anything is. At all. You probably don't need help with "Black Pepper Steak" but if you limit yourself to what you understand, you won't get to the good stuff. At the same time, nobody would order a "mysore masala dosa" unless they knew what they were getting into (a dosa filled with potatoes and onions, served with an onion and a coconut chutney).

Fortunately, the guy at the counter is uncharacteristically helpful - feel free to ask him what the hell is going on. Enjoy the dosas and the idli, but stay away from the mango lassi - it tasted, frankly, like mango and yogurt. Not even blended or anything. Frankly, just way too thick to drink with spicy food.
The deal behind SIFFFJ is that nothing on the menu is over $10. It's the best deal than any Indian businessman will ever give you.


-M.