If You Take Gd Out of the Picture, I'm All That's Left

Aladdin's

Ballston lunch spot number 347: Aladdin's Middle Eastern Eatery.

This place unquestionably gets a business crowd going, and knows (fairly well) how to handle it. While my usual posts refer to "my guest" or "my date" or maybe possibly even "a group of four," this time it was an office outing of around 15 people. We wanted to sit outside, they sat us outside. At one long table, with umbrellas to cover everyone. And they were quick about it. We tried the same at Ted's Montana Grill, and suffice it to say the waitress nearly had an ulcer trying to fit two tables together (in the end, we sat at two tables next to each other but apart.)

The service was, at the very least, observant. Water and bread came when water and bread was needed. Orders were placed at the appropriate time, appetizers arrived quickly, nobody tried to interrupt conversation, so the service was almost perfectly unnoticeable (I don't like it when waiters try to give me a rundown of everything unless I've asked for it or clearly demonstrated an interested, especially if I'm with a group of people). But then the shitshow happened.

Somehow, all of the girls ended up with no meals. There was some back and forth, some "kitchen messed up," but very little by way of apology or even explanation. One had to wait for her meal a good 10 minutes beyond everyone else. My personal favorite snafu was, when the server brought the check, she gave it to the one girl that had to wait the longest. Not the clearly older people from the office, not even one of the 12 or so guys. Because clearly the one who was most slighted is going to tip you...

But who cares about the service, let's talk food. Aladdin's menu is incredibly long. An entire section is devoted to their juice bar. It's like cheesecake factory, in that you'd better have something in mind, something you always get, or something you're looking for. If you don't, you'll quickly find yourself in a position securities lawyers are familiar with - bogged down in 300 pages, mostly in a foreign language.

That said, if you're craving the Middle Eastern cuisine, Aladdin doesn't disappoint. The wraps are a comfortable size as are the salads, and the food is decently spiced. Don't expect anything mouth watering - even the "spicy" dishes won't make your mouth sing. Avoid the hummus: it lacks flavor and texture, and is vaguely reminiscent of baby food.

-M.

What More Can be Said About Jose Andres? (DC)

Jaleo
Zaytinya

So this isn't a full review of Jaleo and Zaytinya. I've eaten at both so many times, but so long ago, that to recommend any one particular thing would almost be sacrilegious. I will just say this. Go to both immediately.

No, ok, I'll say more than that.

Jaleo is celebrating it's 15th year as a DC landmark. It's one of three options for absolutely traditional Spanish Tapas, and is quite possibly the cheapest and best tasting. Yes, Taberna is delicious. But Taberna costs a small fortune. Jose Andres' ability to offer delicious food cheap is what got this restaurant on Rachel Ray's $40 a Day, Washington DC Episode. Granted, she ordered calamari and a piece of endive (very poor choices, Rachel), but that's hardly an excuse to shy away from this place.

The most exotic sounding items on the menu are possibly the best - squid in its own ink is a personal favorite. I'm hesitant to pick favorites when going to Jaleo because it's all good. And that's just the tapas. The paella is out of this world.

Much the same could be said for Zaytinya, the greek/mediterranean counterpart to Jaleo. A little bit more expensive, a little bit more 'trendy', Zaytinya still delivers amazing flavors in the perfect mezze portions. I recently went with a group and we got a large table with a lazy susan to just keep the small plates passing. Zaytinya is also known for its bar, so while Jaleo should involve Riojas and Sangria, get something strong and potent at Zaytinya. The coffee martini is to die for.

Jose Andres needs no extra reviews. Having recently beat Bobby Flay on Iron Chef, starred as a guest judge on Top Chef, and begun hosting a cooking show on PBS, this local legend is off to bigger and better things than DC. But his starting efforts are still unquestionably the best.

-M.

Nouveau!

Orzo

At long last, I think I'm ready to review at least one part of what was a long journey through Charlottesville "nouveau" tasting. Orzo, at Main Street Market.

I have incredibly mixed feelings about Orzo, but let's start with the positive. The simple olive appetizer is soaked in a marinade that after three separate attempts I'm still not what sure is in it. But they're the most delicious olives I've had in a very long time, frankly since Spain, and it might be worth the visit to Orzo just for those olives. And the lunch menu has a number of options, all tast(e)y and down to earth. This next part deserves its own paragraph.

You have no idea how hard it is roast a chicken.
Orzo knows how to roast a chicken.

It was succulent, moist, with a crispy skin. I can't even start to explain it. It's so unfortunate that the housewives of today (led by Rachel Ray) have gravitated towards the boneless, skinless, tasteless white meat chicken breast. Because now, when it comes time to roast a chicken - I mean really roast a chicken - they, well, *really* roast the hell out of it. Made paranoid by talk of salmonella most stay-at-home-moms produce a roasted chicken drier than the Sahara.
Orzo is on top of its game, and for that, I applaud them.

So why mixed feelings? Well, it's mostly false advertising. Orzo bills itself as a Mediterranean wine bar, and it's frankly neither. When the best thing on the menu is an All-American Roasted Chicken, and lunch consists of a series of paninis, it's not really the Spanish-style eating Orzo was going for. And the restaurants namesake, served as a side with nearly every entree, tastes like it comes from a serving line - it's been soaking in onions so long that nothing else can be tasted. In fact, putting aside the olives, Orzo is better billed as Nouveau-Continental/American rather than Nouveau-Spanish/Mediterranean.

Nor does the restaurant know how to serve wine. All 3 times have involved some kind of spillage, big or small. And the reason for the title of this post, the focus on Nouveau? Well Orzo was my chance in Charlottesville to try a glass of the Beaujolais Nouveau before deciding on a purchase. It was good, but the great thing about Nouveau is that it's, well, new. It's fresh, young, bright. And that means you need to serve it chilled. It is a sin to serve a red with such crispness and minerality at room temperature.

Finally, Orzo's website and blackboard advertise "Tapas and Wifi, with $5 glasses of wine." The only truthful part of that is the price of wine. I went with a laptop to study for finals. No one else had computers out, I was sitting at a dinner table and not something like a bar, so I felt incredibly awkward. But bound and determined to work (a 1L doesn't need that much more incentive) I set up shop. Except there was no WiFi provided. The tapas menu? The lunch menu, with a few items removed. Sandwiches are not tapas, no matter how hard you try.

So all in all, maybe Orzo should keep the food and change the image. Every time I go, I expect one thing and am sorely disappointed, but get something else good instead. The only problem is, the taste of soured expectations is incredibly overpowering.

-M.