Climbing the Heights

Boylan Heights

Thank Gd Orbit went out of business. Srsly? Srsly. That place was kind of a dump and filled with dive bar awkwardness. Ug. And you know what? It's been replaced with a restaurant. A good restaurant. Nay, a great one. This may have to enter the Charlottesville top 10.

Boylan Heights is a burger joint, yes, and Charlottesville is kind of famous for it's amazingly delicious burgers. The White Spot, even chains like Five Guys, have a huge rep for some unknown reason amongst UVA students. I personally don't like either. They're greasy and they don't sit well. I don't want to eat something knowing that it's gonna give me mud butt in about 15 minutes. Yeah, I said mud butt. In a food blog. What? So in my opinion, Boylan Heights beats them both hands down. Because the burgers are good. Not like "mm this grease is coating my throat so it must be good." Like actually, really good. And you remember its goodness. It's not like a bad night drinking, which feels good going down but you rarely remember it fondly. Go to Boylan Heights. Don't eat Five Guys and drive.

Ok, now on to an actual review! Boylan Heights hit three notes really well: the beer, the appetizers, the burgers. To be honest, all I had was a Guiness, so I can't talk about more indie beers there. But the menu seemed extensive, and certainly designed to complement this gastropub feel. The appetizers are remarkably good. Who knew corndogs could be this good? Really plump Kosher hot dogs (really, the only good kind, and this coming from someone who worships at the altar of Pork) in a delicious batter with a zingy-but-not-too-zingy sauce. Let's be real, if anyone is going to be prejudiced against a corndog it's me. But these are craveworthy. Plus, you'll be those cool kids who ordered corndogs when everyone else thought it was silly.

Onto the burgers. There are two options for this, the first is to choose from a pre-set selection of 5 or 6 burgers, including the B.O.M.B. (the Burger Of the Month Burger, brought to you by the Redundancy Center for Redundancy). But why do that when you can build your own....on scantron. That's right, in keeping with the "college" theme of the whole restaurant, the menu is on a scantron sheet complete with number two pencils. You can choose the following, all for less than $8:

Type of bun (regular? english muffin? no bun, if you're avoiding carbs, but srsly, who does that nowadays? Atkins is so 2003).

Type of patty (veggie? turkey? beef? - you can double up for an extra $2.something bucks)

A sauce
A cheese
3 regular toppings
Extra money for premium toppings

The options are limitless. Feeling traditional? There's always a beef burger on a bun with mushrooms, onions, bacon, some provolone or swiss, mustard. Or go greek, with turkey and tzatziki sauce with some feta, cucumbers, and olive tapanade. There are probably hundreds of choices. Enjoy.

Oh, and make it a combo with some DELICIOUS sweet potato fries. They're healthier for you than regular fries. Srsly. Sweet potatoes have so many nutrients...most of which leave during the frying process, but ignore that part.

All in all, Boylan Heights may be one of the best Charlottesville has to offer.

-M.