A Bistro Crisis (DC)

West End Bistro

You know I was excited about Eric Ripert. He's one of the best chefs in the country if not the world, he's repeatedly a guest judge on Top Chef, his pallate is by all acounts the greatest thing ever created by Gd.

Apparently he has not tasted his own food.

West End Bistro is at the Ritz in DC, on M street (just above Foggy Bottom). The ambiance is slightly better than a hotel restaurant. The service attitude is tough to identify (a combination of 'we're clearly upscale and better than everyone else' and 'we're just here to have fun' which tends to blend into a little pushy, a little patronizing, but still knowledgeable). The kitchen can be seen through a screen, so it's a nice blend of seeing behind the scenes without really seeing behind the scenes.

To be fair, the restaurant is West End Bistro by Eric Ripert. So of course his charming face never once appears while you're dining. While some bloggers have commented your view may consist of a gas station and someone getting shot, we were fortunate enough to sit facing a different direction.

But on to the food:

I started with the mussels. Either Eric Ripert is an ingredient-procuring god among men, or it's mussel season. I'm inclined to believe the latter. They were juicy, plump, tender, and most importantly huge. I have never seen them that large, ever. To be honest, their sheer size was enough to make a meal out of. But the quality of the mussels is only partly the chef's work, and the real flavor with these things comes in the broth. I found it oily and thin, and despite attempts to keep it traditional at WEB, it lacked the punch of the wine or acid of the tomato that normally cuts the mussel. In the end, I had a big sopping mess on my plate, which while it infused some bread nicely, made me think that the whole broth could have afforded to have less oil. The chorizo in the broth? While the meat certainly gave it a delicious smell, the smell didn't translate into the flavor at all. The chorizo itself was incredibly tough, and probably not cooked enough. For these mussels, better, I strongly suggest Brasserie Beck on K.

Alternately, the tuna carpaccio looked good, but upon its arrival we realized it really was just thinly shaved tuna sprinkled with a little chives and drizzled with oil. It could've used salt, or pepper, or something. The reason beef carpaccio exists is because the beef itself has a delicious flavor to it. Tuna is a little too subtle, and possibly a little too faty, and this dish just never really came together.

If you are going to call yourself Bistro, you must do Steak Fritte and do it well. Period. Otherwise you have failed as a Bistro. I'm sorry, Eric, but Steak sans Fritte does not cut it. Nor does Tough Steak Served Medium Well. The shallot sauce was sour, of all flavors to pair with a steak, the steak itself was dried out. But beyond that it was just...sitting...there. On a plate. With some thin kind of sauce (not a gravy, a sauce).

Dessert was recommended by our server - a "warm chocolate molten cake" which in French means "undercooked brownie mix." Hey, it oozed out already.

When all is said and done, Eric Ripert failed to deliver to a town slowly becoming another food capital of the country. Not even his sexy accent can save that restaurant.

-M.